When A Bang Becomes A Fizzle Fo’shizzle

So it’s 2010.


This is the time of year when there’s tons o’ talk about resolutions. And goals. And stuff of much awesomeness to make happen in 2010.

Everywhere you look everyone seems totally stoked. And totally ready to rock.h

Which is awesome.

Except that sometimes this totally-stoked-and-ready-to-rock thing is like a sugar high.

Super charged.
Short lived.
Fabulous at the time.
And seriously crappy when you crash.

The first few weeks of January everyone’s hopped up on newness and possibilities and potential.

And before January 31st rolls around, half the resolutions have flopped. The goals have gotten fuzzy. And folks are feeling like a big failure.


How can you start off with such a bang and then fizzle out so frakking fast?

When a bang becomes a fizzle fo’shizzle

It’s great that the new year brings all kinds of chatter about fresh starts and new fabulousness and snagging as much gorgeousness as you can stand.

Because I’m all about an all-you-can-eat buffet of gorgeous.

But I don’t see a lot of talk about how to get this gorgeousness to show up.

You know, like how to make it actually happen.

The truth is it takes way more than lists and sugar highs to get cozy with gorgeousness.

And an intravenous shot of discipline isn’t the answer either.

(Which means you can totally stop kicking yourself for not having enough discipline. That’s so not the problem.)

Rockstars! Dude!

If you want to rock, you have to hang out with rockstars.

And when you’re trying to get a firm grasp on some make-it-happen mojo, there are four key ingredients that you totally can’t do without.

  • Alignment
  • Connection
  • Resonance
  • Expression

It starts by getting clear on what you want.

When you hop into your car, you know where you’re going. Which is the first step to getting there, right?

So to make stuff happen you have to figure out what stuff you want to make happen.

This is where the making-of-fabulous-lists and setting-of-gorgeous-goals comes in.

It helps you to get clear about what you want. To get all lined with up with your particular flavor of fabulousness.

Which is rad.

But that’s just the first step.

And if that clarity isn’t plugged into some major mojo, you’re not going to get much mileage out of it.

You can sit in the car all day and think about going to the store. But you have to give it some gas to get moving.

Gas it

Once you’re clear about what kind of awesome you want, it’s uber important to get all of you on the same page.

And by all of you I mean we’re-complex-creatures-with-many-inner-bits-and-bobs.

We have thoughts. And feelings. And fears. And body stuff. And relationship stuff. And life stuff. And soul stuff.

And at any given moment all of these various and sundry bits can be moving in totally different directions. Which is all kinds of not helpful when you’re trying to make something happen.

It’s like having seven people with totally different destinations in mind fighting to steer the car.

Yeah, good luck with that.

So the connection part of the equation is where we check in with all the facets of who we are.

To make sure they know what we’re doing. And what kind of awesome we want. And are totally down with the plan.

Which is pretty much essential if we want to rock this thing.

Tight chest. Might puke. Oof.

Let’s pretend that you wanted to get your particular flavor of awesome out into the world. And that was one of your goals for 2010.

But your head is filled with you-can’t-do-this-cuz-your-thing-sucks blechness.

Which shows up because that one time, in fourth grade, when you showed your art project/essay/fill-in-the-blank to the teacher she told you it sucked.

And you felt crazy embarrassed. And totally sorry you showed her.

And now when you think about putting your thing out there, your chest gets tight. And you feel like you’re totally going to puke.

So, yeah, the goal of getting your awesome out there is delicious. But it can also sound all kinds of alarms at all kinds of other levels.

Alarms that look a lot like resistance and struggle and procrastination and self-sabotage and running for the door as fast as your legs will carry you.

Good times.

But you can work with these inner bits and get them totally on board with your plans for much awesomeness in 2010.

And when they’re on board, they stop resisting. And plug in. And totally become cheerleaders for the kind of awesome you’re after.

It’s like all your bits and bobs hit the gas at the same time.

Because they’re all hanging out in a  sweet state of on-board-with-this-ness.


You’re half way there. But there’s more.

Surf’s up

So being clear and on the same page rocks lots.

But one of the big walls people hit is not being able to keep their foot on the gas long enough to get where they want to go.

Because making awesome happen can take some time. Especially if you’re shifting big stuff in the process.

So being able to keep stuff moving is super important.

That’s where resonance comes in.

Think about the special brand of gorgeousness you’re hot for.

And imagine that gorgeousness is like a song.

When you get to the point where you’re all about it, you’re humming that song. A lot. Like pretty much all the time.

No matter what you’re doing.
Or where you’re at.
Or what’s happening.

Every nook and cranny of you is filled with the fabulousness you want.

You’re singing it. It’s singing you.

That’s resonance.

And that’s crazy important.

Because resonance is what gets you out of first gear and pushes the pedal to the proverbial metal. And it’s what helps you maintain your momentum.

Resonance is some pretty special mojo. It makes stuff happen. And opens doors. And magnetizes fabulousness.

It takes you way beyond being clear about it. And wanting it. And moving in its general direction.

And it does way more than big piles of discipline or focus ever could.

Resonance is like a wave. Which you can totally surf straight to your desired destination.

When you catch that wave, that’s when big stuff starts happening. That’s when you’re this close to having the awesome that you want.

That’s what being all about it is all about.

Piping hot awesomesauce

So you’re clear. And plugged in. And all about it.

What’s next?


Which is just a fancy pants way of saying one piping hot plate of awesomesauce comin’ right up!

Stuff shifts. The fabulous that you want shows up. And life gets a thousand times more gorgeous.


The three previous ingredients were totally necessary to get to this point.

If any one of them starts to slack off, or goes missing, it gets way harder to hang out with the gorgeousness you’ve had your eye on.

But when you rock all three of these things?

Success is pretty much guaranteed.

And that’s one of about a billion reasons that I dig this sound-ey stuff so much. Because sound is the fastest way I’ve found to fill up on all four of these makers-of-much-awesome.

I’ve seen it happen again and again and again.

With me. With friends. With clients.

They have something they want.

They snag a sound session. Which gets them lined up, plugged in and all about it.

Their stuck shifts. Gorgeousness arrives. And it all happens crazy fast.

Because these four secret ingredients give you some seriously superpower-ey mojo.

Faster than speeding stuck.
More powerful than any struggle-ey stuff.
And able to leap tall obstacles in a single bound.

So happy 2010.

Here’s to you being full of more fabulous than you could ever possibly imagine.

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11 Responses to When A Bang Becomes A Fizzle Fo’shizzle
  1. Briana
    January 7, 2010 | 6:12 pm

    Sugar high! That is exactly what it feels like. Starts out all juicy and delicious but before long it turns to syrup-y and then cloying and then… *splat*!

    I really like the idea of riding resonance like a wave. Because resonance is the part that’s sometimes hard for me to stay with, to keep humming all the time. And so maybe I try to hold onto it too tightly instead of just letting the waves roll in?

    Mmmm, love this.

  2. Lori
    January 7, 2010 | 8:50 pm

    Reading your posts are like going to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory: I’m flying on fizzy pop and floating in chocolate rivers!

    Thanks for another fabulous post, Fabeku! Stay juiced and I’ll be watching! Thanks for the pep talk, too. 😉
    .-= Lori´s last blog ..Random Acts of Kick Arse: Wacky =-.

  3. Koren Motekaitis
    January 8, 2010 | 1:53 am


    Love “It’s like having seven people with totally different destinations in mind fighting to steer the car.” We can be complex with all of our stuff – getting clear on what we want and moving forward are indeed clear and help us get unstuck.

    Childhood anxiousness as evidence to dim our light. Yeah I know that one also. 5th grade a petition was passed around my class “Who hates Koren?” It was signed by everyone. So I quickly learned to dim my light and now as an adult I have learned to let that story go and find other truer evidence in my life.

    Thanks for a great post and off fabulousness myself!

  4. Christina
    January 8, 2010 | 2:19 am

    Awesome post! “You’re singing it. It’s singing you.” Just reading that makes me feel uplifted. I’m trying to stick with my own intentions this year by aligning myself with people who get this sort of thing that you explain so well here. Oh, and with lots of tiny baby steps. So glad I found your blog & will keep reading!

  5. Josiane
    January 8, 2010 | 3:29 pm

    Totally bookmarking this: I need to come back and read it again, as I can feel there’s a lot for me in here, but my mind is kinda too foggy to be able to take it all in today. There’s always so much good stuff in your posts!

    While I’m here, I’ll wish you a wonderful 2010 – no bang that becomes a fizzle fo’shizzle, but a gorgeous crescendo of awesomesauce!
    .-= Josiane´s last blog ..Taking action instead of resolving to do so =-.

  6. Fabeku
    January 8, 2010 | 6:57 pm

    @Briana – Syrup-ey and then cloying splat-ey. That’s totally it, isn’t it? And it’s a huge drag. I also think you’re right on about letting-it-roll-in thing. Because when we’re really rocking the resonance, that kind of how it goes. It’s just sort of flows.

    And one of the things I really like about knowing these four pieces of the make-awesome-happen puzzle is that once we know what they are, we can figure out where things are going wonky when stuff gets fuzzy for us.

    Which, of course, totally makes it easier to get stuff back to a place of grooviness again.

    @Lori – Willy Wonka! Fizzy pop! Chocolate rivers! I can’t even tell you how much I love this. Lots and lots and lots.

    @Koren – That 5th grade petition? Ouchouchouch. And sorry x 1000. That made me grab my face and cringe. And a huge right on! for not dimming your light anymore and finding stuff that’s true! (I want to pass around a Who Hearts Koren petition.)

    @Christina – I’m glad you dug the singing it/singing you bit. It was the best way I could explain what resonance actually feels like. And I think baby steps are perfect. There’s so much talk about big leaps. Which are fine. If that’s your thing. But baby steps are awesome too!

    @Josiane – Thanks for digging the post. And mondo sorries about the foggy schtuff. I appreciate your wishes for wonderfulness in 2010 too. Right back atcha!

    Thanks taters for stopping by and saying hey. I appreciate you guys a ton.

  7. Koren Motekaitis
    January 8, 2010 | 8:36 pm


    Thanks Fabeku. You rock. Yeah, I almost did not put it up there. But that was the memory triggered when you discussed the fourth grade dismissal. And in the space of being authentic I decided to put it out there. It’s okay now. Devasting for a sweet 10 year old little girl though. Obviously they were not my tribe. I have found mine now. Big smiles!

  8. Katie Schroth
    January 10, 2010 | 11:43 am

    Thanks for your interesting sharing. I am not much on New Year’s resolutions. I guess I just know that’s not enough to get me moving in a good direction, so I don’t bother with them. Things seem to need to happen more in stages for me, so your post makes perfect sense to me and having experienced sacred sound sessions, as well as my own personal work with Singing Bowls, Drums, and Rattles, I know it totally rocks.

    Good thoughts for an amazing, sound-filled 2010!

  9. Fabeku
    January 11, 2010 | 8:38 pm

    @Koren – I’m glad you posted it. And I totally get how hard and scary it can be to put stuff like that out there. So double yays + chocolate + lots of thanks. And more yays for finding your tribe! I bet that 10 year old little girl thinks you’re all kinds of fabulous now. She’s right.

    @Katie – Things happening in stages makes total sense to me. That’s usually how I experience stuff too. And when I’m ok with that, I can be ok with everything not happening in the first week of January, but happening throughout the year. Great point!

  10. Koren Motekaitis
    January 11, 2010 | 8:54 pm

    You rock Fabeku! So glad you are a part of my life now. SMILING BIG

  11. Fabeku
    January 11, 2010 | 9:35 pm

    @Koren – Thanks! And back atcha.

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