Peyote Stitch Pattern Spotting

Beads!This morning I had a fab chat with a friend who’s learning how to do peyote stitch.

Which, for the great unwashed like moi, is basically some totally gnarly beading technique that involves creating super intricate patterns with super tiny beads.

It sounds like the kind of thing that makes me want to drink.

And apparently I’m not alone.

Because peyote stitch is famous for being all kinds of hard.

People regularly have a meltdown while sorting out how to wrangle the beads into submission.

But most of the hard isn’t so much about the technique.

It’s about the mindset.

When someone’s just learning peyote stitch, everything seems like pure madness.

Something about stringing one row of beads.
Which is actually two rows of beads.
Even though it totally looks like one.
Until some magical point when it doesn’t.

So people get totally confused.

And they kind of freak out. Because nothing makes sense.

Logic has so left the building.

And they have no clue how they’ll get from point A to point B.

Madness, brain meat and angels

When somebody sets out to become an initiate of this wacky beading thing, apparently they get hip to some insider secrets.

Tricks to make the bead-ey madness less tricksy.

One trick is to use bigger beads.

That way the hopeful neophyte can see every single bead. And the mechanics of how they all fit together to make the rows that make the pattern.

Being able to clearly see each bead triggers a major aha! in the brain meat of the beader.

They get how it happens.
How every teeny tiny bead directly shapes the pattern.

And suddenly it all falls into place.

Everything becomes clear.

And the angels sing.

Beading. Business. Life. It’s all the same.

This totally applies to any kind of pattern spotting.

Personal patterns.
Business patterns.
Relationship patterns.

When I start working with a new coaching client, they usually have a ton in common with someone learning peyote stitch.

They’re frustrated. And confused. And nothing’s making sense.

They may be a hundred kinds of stuck.

And totally in the dark about how they got there and how to fix it.

It all feels like a big mystery.

This sucktastic question mark that’s painful. And scary. And hard.

And when I ask this new client to tell me what’s cookin’, their answer usually sounds a lot like this:

“I really want to do X. But every time I try, Y happens. I don’t know why. But Y just keeps happening.”

There was a detour.

But they’re not sure where or why or how the detour happened.

It’s complicated complex

I know it feels like detours happen just like that.

Like you want to start eating better. But you always just hit the drive thru for lunch.

Or you want to send your sweet thing out into the world. But you keep procrastinating.

It feels like you’re here. And then suddenly you’re there.

But that’s never how it happens.

Detours happen bead by bead.

There are a ton of teeny tiny happenings happening back to back that have a ginormous effect on how things shake out.

Between where you are and where you want to be are a bajillion thoughts and feelings and stories and reactions.

And they’re subtle. And fast.

Which makes them extra tricksy.

Especially when you don’t know they’re there.

And when it comes to patterns – stuff that just keeps happening – these microscopic happenings are happening automagically.

The only thing you see is the endless cycle of suck.

Maybe more like this

In your head, you’re thinking that you want to share your awesome with the world.

So you’re stumped why you never feel motivated to work on it. Even when you have the time.

You want to be here.

And you always end up there.

No matter what you do.

But maybe what’s actually happening is closer to something like this:

You have this thing that you love.
And you totally want to share it with people.
But you don’t know if they’ll love it like you do.
What if they don’t?
What if they hate it?
That would be crushing.
You remember when you’ve been crushed before.
And you don’t ever want to go there again.
So maybe you just shouldn’t do it.
Or maybe you should wait.
So that you can figure more stuff out before you do it.
But you don’t know what stuff you’re missing.
Even though you’re pretty sure it’s something major.
And missing it will mean failure! And humiliation! And ruin!
OMG. This is hard. And scary.
When did it get this scary?
Twitter isn’t scary. Twitter is fun.
Ooh. And there’s that email you need to answer.
And that phone call you need to return.
And that thing you need to find on eBay.
Yeah, that sounds good.

It’s never a just-like-that kind of thing.

Even when it feels like it is.


Pattern spotting for fun and profit

When you know something’s off, but you don’t know how you got there or how to fix it, it means one thing:

You’re seeing the pattern, but not the beads.

The key to pulling a switcheroo on any cycle of suck is to find those microscopic middle bits that happen between point A and point B.

So it can be super helpful to change up your mindset.

And the trick to doing that is to use bigger beads.

Zoom in on the situation.

Look at what happens between where you start and where you end up.

Pay attention to every single thought and feeling and reaction and response.

Sort through it bead by bead.

This gives you the mojo to make different choices and to make space for some new awesome.

Which gives you a way better chance of avoiding detours and staying pointed in the direction that you dig.

And, in my world, that equals a serious superpower.

Do you have an endless cycle of suck that’s been hard to shake?
Are you trying to do X, but always end up with Y?
What changes when you look at this bead by bead?
Do you see any obvious places where you can pull a switcheroo?

Flickr credit – el_bastardo_edo

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9 Responses to Peyote Stitch Pattern Spotting
  1. Christine (Blisschick) Reed
    January 27, 2011 | 11:23 am

    Wonderfully laid out, as usual. Perfect.

    And made more perfect by the subtle Lord of the Rings reference.


    Currently, my stuck is all about being SEEN in a bigger way. I know the muddle of the middle, even, and am STILL resisting and very often, I’m sure, mistaking procrastination for “patience.”

  2. Fabeku Fatunmise
    January 27, 2011 | 11:42 am

    @Christine – I think it’s super easy to mistake procrastination for patience. It’s happened to me a ton of times. I try to do the bead-by-bead thing here, too. Zooming in on how it really feels. And I’m always kind of amazed at how fast I (usually) find some clarity.

  3. Pam/Moon'sLark
    January 27, 2011 | 12:22 pm

    I didn’t understand that peyote stitch was hard until after I finished my first piece done in it. I just did it… it just worked… and then all my friends were all “wow, that’s so hard, we never could figure it out” after that I was totally stuck everytime I went to do it!!

    I see my stuck… its there… giggling in the corner because it doesn’t want to share the joke. I don’t know what my thing IS… I don’t know what my purpose is… so I run in circles trying to figure out why I don’t have a thing I’m good at, and I procrastinate at examining things… over and over until I am so sure that I don’t have ANYTHING worth sharing…

    Patterns repeating

  4. Andi
    January 27, 2011 | 3:22 pm

    Wow, that’s it exactly. Way to rock the bead analogy!

  5. Tammy Vitale
    January 28, 2011 | 8:49 am

    Not THAT’s talking my language! sharing!!!

  6. Tammy Vitale
    January 28, 2011 | 8:49 am

    um – so excited couldn’t type. “Now” not “Not”

  7. Beverly Anger
    January 28, 2011 | 10:10 am

    Wow! Like many other things in life, once you get the hang of peyote stitch you’ll love it. Patience is the key – having someone sit beside you and show you helps too.

  8. maylo
    January 29, 2011 | 1:25 pm

    thank you. thank you. so.
    so happy i found your site
    vibrations working!

  9. Fabeku
    February 3, 2011 | 12:52 pm

    Hey taters! Thanks for the comments. Always appreciated.

    I’ve been playing around with the bead-by-bead thing with some clients this week. And OMG. They’ve been having fabulous results.

    Breakthroughs. Insights. Much comingtogetherness.

    I’m loving this. A lot.

    @Pam – First, yay you for rocking the peyote stitch. I don’t bead, but I get how impressive that is.

    And big sorries for the hard around the giggle-ey bit in the corner. If you felt like playing around with it a little more – and it’s completely fine not to – it might be interesting to look at it bead-by-bead.

    Start with the wanting-to-know-what-my-thing-is part. And take teeny tiny steps all the way through to the convinced-I-don’t-have-anything-worth-sharing part.

    Maybe one of those bead-ey bits will spark an aha! about where things get derailed for you.

    @Andi – Thanks! Totally appreciated.

    @Tammy – Thanks you. For the excitement + the sharing.

    @Beverly – Thankfully I’m not the one trying to master this. Because I’d probably just end up drinking booze. Or pulling my hair out. Or both. But my friend is taking a class. And it sounds like it’s really helpful for her.

    @Maylo – Totally welcome. Glad you found the site + dug what you found. Thanks for saying so.

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