Leave Your Problems At The Door. What?!

A meditation-ey thing
The other night the phone rings. It’s a friend calling to ask if I’ll come to this meditation-ey thing they’re going to the next day.

Thanks, but no thanks.

I don’t meditate. At least not in the usual way. I mean, I’ll pick up a drum and rock out til my hands hurt. Or play a singing bowl and surf the sacred sound. Or chant or lose myself in a painting or drink some tea on the porch and watch the sunset.

But sitting crossed legged, on a mat, totally still and trying to think about nothing?

Not so much.

And this shindig was definitely one of those sitting-crossed-legged-on-a-mat kind of parties.

So, I said no. Five times.

My friend’s response? To beg and plead. Because they didn’t want to go alone. Because they were sure I’d love it. Plus it wouldn’t take long. And it would be fun.

Sure it would.

Finally, in a moment of weakness, I relented.

The next day we show up at this thing. The second we pull in my friend springs out of the car like a gazelle. She’s all kinds of eager to get in there and stake out a spot for our mats.

Were we going to miss the show or something if we got stuck in the back? Are there actually bad seats for a meditation-ey thing?

I was confused. But what do I know? It was my first time at a meditation-ey thing.

After we took care of the seemingly important mat business, we had a few minutes to mingle. And by mingle, I mean everyone else is engaging in very serious discussions about very serious meditation practice kind of stuff, while I’m parked next to the bowl of hummus wondering if I look as awkward as I feel.

Just about the time I started to question how much longer I could pull off the totally-fascinated-by-this-fabulous-hummus thing, the group leader signaled that it was time to get rollin’.

Everyone got all cross-legged and comfy. Me? I got sort of cross-legged and not really all that comfy.

The screeching halt

Then the leader person did the leader-ey thing, and guided us through a few minutes of deep breathing. That was actually kind of nice. I was feeling relaxed and ready to give this meditation-ey thing an honest shot.

Then it happened.

The leader person, still doing the leader-ey thing, invited us to close our eyes, relax and leave our problems at the door. To let them all go so we could settle into our peaceful place. Yeah, that’s how he talked.

Leave our problems at the door. What?

Was he serious? I mean, I get what he was going for. Carrying our problems around is hard, and scary, and exhausting. I totally get that. And yay if we can let all that go so we can meditate and hang out in our peaceful place.

But how easy is it for most of us just to check our problems at the door? Is it really that easy to let go of our stuff at the drop of a dime?

For me, and for most people I know, the answer is a resounding no.

Pretty much everybody I know would love to press pause on their struggles, or call time out all the stuff they’re tripping over day after day. They’d love to be able to check their problems at the door so they don’t follow them into their work life and home life and love live and inner life.

But it just isn’t happening.

And it’s not like they haven’t tried to let it go. It’s just that their hard and scary and ick are big enough and deep enough, or have been around long enough, that it’s not as simple as slipping off a pair of dirty shoes so they don’t track their stuck all over the floor of their peaceful place.

For most of us, just leaving our stuff at the door isn’t a realistic option. We’d have done it by now it was that easy. Most of us need a little more help to deal with big stuck.

Where’s the beef?

When I’m wrapped up in stuck and struggle, I want something that can meet me where I’m at. Not something that expects me to do something with my stuck that would only be possible if I weren’t stuck.


And I want something that’s beefy enough to handle whatever I give it. Not something delicate. Or something that’s afraid of getting messy. I want something that’s tough. Like Tonka-truck kind of tough.

When I’m stuck, what I need most is to be able to show up exactly as I am – twisted, tangled, scared and confused – and know that help is on the way.

Sacred sound is beefy. It has broad shoulders. And plenty of room for all of your stuff. Even your great big stuff. And it’s totally not afraid to get messy.

Sacred sound doesn’t ask you to check your stuck at the door. In fact, it invites you to bring it with you. Which is good news, because when you’re stuck it’s kind of hard to go anywhere without your stuck tagging along.

Sacred sound gets that. That may be why it reminds me so much of alchemy. The alchemist works to turn lead into gold. That happens by loading the lead into the crucible, and heating it until it transforms.

Gold doesn’t show up in the absence of lead, but because of it. Because the lead shifts into something else – something better, something more desirable, something that goes from ick to oh wow!

When you show up for your sacred sound session, I won’t ask you to leave your problems at the door. Because, honestly, I think that’s kind of obnoxious. And impossible. And silly.

So bring your stuff. Your big stuff. Your deep stuff. Your been-around-for-awhile stuff.

Bring it all.

And feel free to show up exactly as you are.

Because sacred sound can handle it. It’s beefy like that.

But please, don’t ask me to go to a meditation-ey thing with you. Deal?

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8 Responses to Leave Your Problems At The Door. What?!
  1. Goddess Leonie
    July 4, 2009 | 4:13 pm

    tee hee!
    You are tha BEST, fabeku 🙂

  2. Eileen
    July 5, 2009 | 12:28 pm


    I love your voice Fabeku. So happy to get more of it! 🙂

    And yeah, I love how so many woo-woo practitioners just breeze past the super-hard stuff…”leave your problems at the door” or my fave “just let x go”. I mean excuse me, whaaa??? Hoooowww??? And then I’m sitting there thinking, uh-oh I must be broken since I can’t do that! Not fun.

    Lots of love to you and congratulations on the much-anticipated launch! 🙂 ~E.

  3. Amy Robbins-Wilson
    July 6, 2009 | 9:26 am

    Can I just say “Amen!” and great to meet you?! I often talk about the difference between “pretty” and “beautiful.” Pretty is on the surface, delicate, fragile and can’t be trusted to withstand anything. Beautiful encompasses all things, the dark becomes light, the light becomes brighter. Beauty makes us stronger, pretty keeps us on pedestals that wobble and fall.

    I perform musical meditations and find that I access a God space while channelling music and also while walking.

    Thanks for all that you do, and all that you are. Looking forward to getting to know you better on Twitter and also here.

    Harmonically yours,
    Amy Robbins-Wilson

  4. Simon Ashaan
    July 6, 2009 | 9:04 pm

    What a great article Fabeku. As a child I remember the countless hours being in “Satsang” with large groups of people and wondering what was going on outside in the sun. Have never been a dedicated meditator but instead chose sound which to me too, as you say is “beefy”. It moves through us and allows us to then move through it. Sacred Sound really is magic manifested. Nice one! Love your website and your writing style.

  5. Grace
    July 7, 2009 | 4:22 pm



    But. Augh!!!

    Meditation can be a beautiful – or difficult – joyful – or painful – amazing – or even boring experience.

    But it’s never, ever supposed to be a way of making people feel like they’re “doing it wrong,” which is what this sort of “leave your problems at the door” instruction leads to.


    Meditation is about just being with what is, and allowing everything to be as it is. Whatever that may be – problems or Silence or, well, whatever. Meditation is a respite, a reconnection with Reality, a moment to pause and breathe and say Yes to whatever I feel – so I can then carry that forward into the day.

    For whatever it’s worth, Fabeku, I say stick with the meditation that works for you, and rock out!

    Speaking of which, a HUGE WOOHOO on your website launch!

  6. Natalia
    July 8, 2009 | 10:33 pm

    That leader’s ridiculous! Because EXACTLY – if we could leave our problems at the door–anywhere–we would have done it already. Ugh…

    I’ve gone to one of those once and it was neat. And with no unreasonable demands on my emotions. Too long, though.

    P.S. Yay hummus!

  7. fabeku
    July 13, 2009 | 11:07 am

    Can I first say “Yay! Comments! Yay!”

    Ok, now that I have that out of my system, here are a few replies…

    @Goddess Leonie – You’re my first blog comment ever! Woohoo! Thanks for your support and encouragement. You did my heart good.

    @Eileen – The feeling broken part is probably what brought things to a screeching halt for me. How many people can really just drop their stuff like that? I can’t. And I don’t know many other people who can either. And the implication that it’s so easy to do really does leave people feeling like there’s something wrong with them when they can’t. Blech.

    @Amy – I love how you talked about the difference between pretty and beautiful. Right on! I’ll take beautiful any day. That’s the good stuff, the deep stuff, the real stuff. That’s the stuff that sustains us.

    @Simon – I dig the beefiness of sacred sound. That’s one of the things that has drawn me to it in such a big way. I know meditation can be beefy too. I just wasn’t in the right group for me. And meditation takes so many forms, which is all kinds of cool. We can each find the flavor that works for us.

    @Grace – I’m all about what you wrote. And I love that you said meditation can be boring. It’s refreshing to hear someone talk about it so honestly. The beauty and the boredom. I grok that. And I really dig the idea of meditation just being with what is. That strikes a chord for me.

    @Natalia – I’m with you. I figure if it were that easy to just shelve our stuff, everyone would’ve done it already. Sometimes it takes more than a simple invitation to shift stuff, and that’s totally ok. There’s nothing bad about that or wrong with us. It is what it is and that’s 100% ok. And, yeah, yay for the hummus!

    Thanks to all of your comments. I’ll be quicker to reply next time. Still finding my legs with this whole blog thing.

  8. Smallelk
    July 23, 2009 | 10:40 am

    Amen and Amen
    I have been using your sacred sound free download and feel its definately moving some energy for me.

    I use Meditation to find answers to my stuff. How can I find answers if I leave it at the door?

    Thankyou for this post Fabeku. Awesome as usual.
    Blessings, Small Elk

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