Facets. We have them.There are tons of well-meaning business peeps dishing out advice that pushes you to pick.

To be this.
Or be that.
To rock it this way.
Or don’t even bother.

The nudge to narrow it down.

To niche your ass off.

To pick one part of you.

And just show that.

Keep it simple and straightforward.

Subtext: Be flat.
The more one-dimensional, the better.

That’s how you snag success.

And make the monies.

And avoid the shameful fate of eating cat food out of an old shoe in some random alley like a dirtyrottenloser.

Facets. We have them.

Here’s the problem with that.

We are complex creatures.

Ridiculously, wildly, beautifully complex.

We have so many layers.

And so many moving parts.

Bits stacked on top of bits.
Smooshed between even more bits.

So many fabulous facets.

There’s a ton of big magics there. In the stacking and the smooshing.

And big frustration too.

Because some bits just fit.


Other bits?

Not so much.

There are some facets that seem to totally contradict other facets.

And pieces that run counter to how we’re told we’re supposed to do our Thing.


The complexity can get puke-ey with the quickness.

And, before you know it, everything turns into a steel cage match between these competing bits.

We’re not talkin’ kumbaya here

Can I tell you a secret?

There’s no competition.

None at all.

You don’t have to pick and choose.

This push/pull thing?

Totally unnecessary.
Totally craptastic.

You can make room for your all of your delicious complexity.

{Hint: You’ll be better off if you do.}

And not just in some kumbaya-isn’t-that-sweet kind of way.

Making room makes a real difference.

In how you show up.
In how deep you go.
In how well you do what you do.

And that makes a difference in what you take to the bank.


I used to fight complexity on the regular.

Like the fact that I seriously love working with people.

Feeling totally energized when I’m knee-deep in a session with someone.

And the fact that I need to balance this with frequent chunks of no-people-ness.

Or the fact that I’m crazy about sound and music.

Banging drums.
Thwacking bowls.
Spinning tunes.

And the fact that I need a ton of silence, too.

I have bits that are completely fascinated by marketing.

And bits totally repulsed by it.

Love it. And hate it.
Sometimes at the same time.

And I have a seriously low tolerance for all things woo.

But soul is an important part of my work.

I love to be lighthearted and silly.

And I also love digging in and going deep.

Buhbye meh

I can’t tell you how much time I wasted worrying about what’s ok and what’s not.

Sweating over which bits to bring into my work.
And which bits to banish to the corner.

It was a constant tug-of-war with the bits that didn’t fit.

But then I got it.

They didn’t fit because I hadn’t made space for them.

So I did.

I built my business around my many varied bits.

I created structures that support all of me.

And OMG.
It changed everything.

Business went from getting by to thriving.

And I went from feeling meh to hell yeah! about my work.

Two words: Boo. Yah.

Vroom vroom!

When there’s room for all of you in what you do, something magical happens.

It amps up your flow.

There’s more momentum. And less struggle.

Everything feels cleaner.
And vroomier.

You spend more time getting your genius on.

And less time worrying about what’s ok.

You’re free to serve up your mojo to the people who totally need it.

And that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?

It’s ok to bring all of your bits on board.

It’s not just ok.

It’s kind of essential.

There’s room for you all of you in what you do.

Trust that.

Make room for that.

Love that.

Your business + your people + your mojo will thank you.

Do you feel like you have to pick?
That there’s not room for all of you in your business?
How would things change if you made more room?
If things already feel all kinds of room-ey, how did you do it?
How do you make room for you in what you do?

Flickr credit – Elsie esq.

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14 Responses to Facets.
  1. Lori-Lyn
    March 31, 2011 | 10:16 am

    Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

  2. Skaja
    March 31, 2011 | 10:36 am

    Wisdom. You have it.

    The hard thing about being a multi-interests person, a scanner, is hearing other people say, “Pick something.” And it so doesn’t work that way. Thank you thank you thank you for the worded-in-my-language reminder that it’s cool to be faceted. <3

  3. marie
    March 31, 2011 | 10:57 am

    There is a book by a Norwegian psychologist Paul Moxnes (sadly not translated into English – the book not the author;-)), with the title “The Many Faceted Human Being”, which I love and more or less live by, because he scientifically (as much as psychology can be called scientific, but nevertheless) argues that we humans are much more complex than what tests like Myers-Briggs and marketers like to acknowledge or ever admit.

    Being in the early stages of building my own coaching practice (don’t like to even call it a business…), I have taken a couple of online marketing courses by some really great (and mindfulness practicing) people, and (sadly) have been put off every time by their never ending insistence on only showing and market to one facet of me and my prospective clients. All this frantic searching for a niche has snagged all my focus and energy, to the detriment of actually finding clients, and has left me stucker than that guy in that movie with the big boulder (but I do have a day job, thankfully).

    So thank you, and yay for this post!

    (And sorry for the longish rant…)

  4. Barbara Martin
    March 31, 2011 | 11:02 am

    Faceted, multi-dimensional, not flat — we are each one of us so complex and so dare we say, human. Such a lovely reminder and so wonderfully emphatic!!! 🙂

  5. Julia
    March 31, 2011 | 1:02 pm

    Wow, this is timely for me. I was working on textile pieces and experimenting with block printing on cloth. I like the randomness and one of a kindness of block printing, but was also yearning after the precision and repeatability of screen printing. I picked up a book that told me I could do BOTH – on the same piece! Epiphany!

    I’m kind of embarrassed that I needed a book to tell me it was okay to do whatever I wanted and to combine techniques.

    I’ve struggled with this for so long – so many sources tell you to specialize and focus on one area, but I do lots of different things. And that’s perfectly okay – hell, it’s great!

  6. Christine
    March 31, 2011 | 1:42 pm

    Love this! Our facets are what make us shine.

  7. Susan T. Blake
    March 31, 2011 | 2:55 pm

    Yay, welcome back, I’ve missed you!

    Funny how either lots of things with a theme begin showing up at once or I just start noticing them; the current theme is making space. Wonder requires space – and creates space. And there is room for the big picture if we make it. Abundantly.

    Thanks for your part in the universe’s effort to get me to pay attention to this idea. 🙂

  8. the Business Yogini
    March 31, 2011 | 10:01 pm


    You are speaking the language of my heart.

    A client said to me today, “Nona, it’s JUST like you said — when I’m FULLY MYSELF, my business just works. My ideal clients find me, hire me, and love me.”

    Ahhh, music to my ears.

    Yoga and Business and my me-ness? “They” said it wouldn’t work.

    I happily prove them wrong, daily.

    Loving you in all of you awesome, amazing magicalness.


  9. Paulita
    April 1, 2011 | 10:23 pm

    Fabeku! What a marvelous and timely-for-me post. I feel like there’s not enough room for me in my *life*. But I am changing that. Starting with spending time in an almost-empty room, with candles and my journal and sparkly pens and a fuzzy purple blanket. Thank you.

  10. Nicola
    April 2, 2011 | 4:13 am

    I think there must be something in the water! I’ve been contemplating a lot lately how to combine all these, often contradictory, elements of myself. When I try to suppress one element I end up feeling less than complete. And, as the business yogini writes above, when I’m “fully myself”, that’s when things work.

    It’s so easy to feel fragmented and that’s when the problems set in. The irony, of course, (or maybe not!) is that I write about the “whole” self. As they often say, you teach best what you most need to learn!!!

  11. Tia Sparkles Singh
    April 3, 2011 | 5:15 pm

    TWO screw-niche-posts in 2 days just when I’m about to do that myself? Thank you Universe for the signs, woot wooty woot :D!!

    Fahbulousku, I’d love to hear you elaborate on the practical day to day aspects of “built my business around my many varied bits & created structures that support all of me”.

    Ie, exactly what and how did you proceed, please?

    Gracias! Muchos hugsies! Tia

  12. Angel
    April 3, 2011 | 7:56 pm

    I’m totally with everyone above (Especially Skaja and with Tia!!)

    I can’t believe the synchronicity of this for me (what with you doing my session tomorrow morning -have I mentioned that I’m excited????- and with the whole ‘bring all of you’ parts. The new thing that I’m doing is totally related to being a scanner (and how I always thought of that as my BIGGEST weakness ie: I’m a flake, a failure, quitter, etc…) and I’m really trying to turn that perspective around and enjoy all the things I’m interested in because THAT is who I actually AM!

    *sigh* Thanks so much for yet another amazing bit of wisdom to smack me in the face. It’s so appreciated! 😀

  13. Do Mi Stauber
    April 6, 2011 | 10:55 am

    Facets!!!! I love this, Fabeku! There are so many of us! I’m also struggling with the “get-a-niche” advice, much of it from people I deeply respect. It makes sense–and yet I need my teaching business to have room for all the things I might possibly teach. Not to mention colored pencil art, guitar music, and songs to teach kids the letter sounds.

    I renew my vow to live in my whole house and to allow my business life to reflect my whole self.

    Thank you!!

  14. Fabeku
    April 7, 2011 | 9:13 am

    @Lori-Lyn – YES!

    @Skaja – You’re totally right. And the pick something thing is filled with so many assumptions. Like what something means. Usually pick something means pick something that looks like my definition of something.

    @Marie – I totally agree about the complexity thing. That’s part of what fascinates me about people. And what you described is a perfect example of why I wrote this post.

    Having your vroom sucked up from the start is hard. And totally unnecessary! You can do your thing right now. And if some specific comes into focus as you go, rock on. If not, rock on. (p.s. No apologies needed. Comments of any size are welcome here. Always.)

    @Barbara – Complex! Human! Yes. I love that.

    @Julia – It’s totally great. Your work is gorgeous. And you bring so much of you to it. That magic will be there whether you’re doing block printing or screen printing or something totally different. Go you!

    @Christine – Shine on!

    @Susan – “Wonder requires space – and creates space.” LOVE! (p.s. Thanks for the welcome-back-ness. Happy to be back!)

    @Nona – You so proved them wrong. Because you’re rocking the house. And it’s awesome to see. I’ve learned a lot about asking the right sources for advice. Some theys are better than others.

    @Paulita – Your room? It sounds awesome. Like made-me-sigh-and-smile-at-the-same-time kind of awesome. Glad you have that space.

    @Nicola – Less than complete. Ergh. I get what you mean. And, like you said, that doesn’t work. How can we build a solid business (or relationship or life or anything) with less-than-complete? That’s not sustainable. Not even a little.

    @Tia – The built-my-business thing meant creating a schedule that actually works for me + my rhythm, being really clear about the type of clients I love to work with, being clear about how I want to show up, which sources of business smarts match + which don’t, consciously checking The Rules and not being afraid to tweak or toss out as needed, etc. I’ll probably talk more about all of this stuff in future posts. (p.s. I’m changing my name to Fahbulousku.)

    @Angel – I believe there are lots of magics to be found in the stuff we think of as weaknesses. It might take a little digging + perceptual switcheroo. But there’s gold in them there hills. (grin) And I love how this lined up with your session. Rawk!

    @Do Mi – Word. To everything you said. To the it-makes-sense and the from-people-I-respect and the I-need-room.

    And this?

    “I renew my vow to live in my whole house and to allow my business life to reflect my whole self.”a

    This might just be one of the most fabulous things I’ve ever heard.

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